CURRENT CREW:
Commander: AlbinoTitan
First Mate: Suika Ibuki
Lead Operative: ZeroInsanity
Yeoman:
Chef: Xellon/Reimu Hakurei
Cargo Hold Operator:
Armory Attendant: Sanchez(insert # chain here)
Medical Official: igott/Reimu Hakurei
Repairman: Wyvvern-Guy
Pilot: SuparEFG/Cirno
Navigator: sonic98
Engineer: 51430
Gunner: Rabid-Monkey101
Spah: Wartooth118/Sakuya Izayoi
Strategist: Yukari Yakumo
//Soldier Ranks:
Alice Margatroid & Various Dolls: Will comprise 50% of frontline troops; will act as field cmd.
Marisa Kirisame: FUCKING MASTER SPARK IN YOUR FUCKING FACE; will act as field cmd.
Utsuho Reiuiji: FUCKING NUKE IN YOUR FUCKING FACE; will act as field cmd.
Flandre Scarlet: Portable WMD.
Turians: Normal Soldiers; wear Crimson Lance armor.
Krogans: Normal Soldiers; wear Crimson Lance armor.
Hanar: Ninja jellyfish with cloaking devices and amped-up shielding.
Vorcha/Batarians: Cannon fodder/Meat shields/suicide bombers/mindless grunts.
<SIGN UP TODAY IF YOU SUIT THE OPEN ROLES>
[Various Rules/Regulations:]
Our enemies are Spacefurs, Spacepirates, Mercenaries, everything on uncharted worlds, Batarians, Vorcha, and anything else that moves except merchants that will give us a discount.
UNIFORMS:
Nameless Grunts: Always in armor. Turians/Humans/Krogans wear Borderlands Crimson Lance armor. Any others wear cardboard boxes with 'GUNDAM' scrawled on it in crayon.
Chef: Spongebob Squarepants shirt, sneakers, that poofy Chef hat whateverthehell, and a Yukkuri Apron.
Important Crewmembers: They're black with a white crest going from the left shoulder, diagonally, to the right ribs. Thick white stripes are on the exterior side of the legs. We also have orange patches between the shoulder and elbow. [NOTE: Touhou Characters discluded unless otherwise specified.]
[Weekly Schedule /flexible to offsets and editing/]
Monday: Do your fucking jobs.
Tuesday: Continue your fucking jobs while I go off-world and buy groceries.
Wednesday: Albino will walk into your rooms interrupting your fucking jobs and say, "WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOU AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT," ask one question, then leave.
Thursday: Vacation day. We pick names out of a hat and the person picked decides where we go. This policy is subject to change.
Friday: We have the vacation.
Saturday: Recover from obligatory injuries of said vacation and do your fucking jobs.
Sunday: Poker Night. Includes Random Crewmember Gets Airlock'd event.
[Other Policies:]
- No interspecies secks. Except Albino. He can do whatever he wants since he's the fucking commander.
- You will refer to me as either Lead Op, Or LEAD OPERATIVE ZERO MOTHERFUCKING INSANITY, or LEAD OPERATIVE FIORENZE MOTHERFUCKING LOMBARDI, or Zero Seishin Ijou.
- We will not serve plankton in any food.
- Guns are never to be on safety.
- Guns are not to be randomly fired unless upon a Batarian or Vorcha employee/indentured servant.
- Pay is arbitrary, not fixed nor divided nor based on your performance.
- This is not a fucking pirate ship. Anybody who gets scurvy will be Airlock'd.
- SEFG/Cirno is the only pilot of anything. Anybody else will be shot, then Airlock'd.
- In the case of SEFG/Cirno getting killed, we get a new ship. If in the midst of ship to ship combat this occurs, we break out a string quartet and go down with the ship Titanic style.
- No cookies in the beds.
- Internet will be monitored. Proxies will get you Airlock'd.
- Anyone disses Touhou, and you get Airlock'd.
- Anyone who suggests I'm a guy will be Airlock'd.
- Anyone who disses Yukari will be Gapped, then Airlock'd.
- Rabid gets to shoot fucking anything.
- 12chan is B&.
- CP is Airlocking worthy. If I see it.
- No toddlercon/baby fuck.
- No probing Uranus.
- Bitching about anything profusely will result in your balls being shot off by my Widow, then you will be Airlock'd stark naked with "FAGGOT" carved into your back. You will then be shot at randomly until you explode.
EDIT: BEST. MINDFUCK. EVER.
.
/* */
Brand New: I made a Yukkuri Fruit Pommelo thing.
5lip5tr3am3r
You might need a diplomat type guy who can speak all the languages and knows all the cultural taboos...
ZeroInsanity
True.