Alright, why is my name there?
I demand answers before continuing the story.
Local crossdresser gets horny, screams at the void
Zi
@ZeroInsanity
Age 28, Female
Slut
The Flat-Chested Girls Academy
Line Ark
Joined on 4/1/09
- Level:
- 4
- Exp Points:
- 167 / 180
- Exp Rank:
- > 100,000
- Vote Power:
- 4.01 votes
- Rank:
- Civilian
- Global Rank:
- > 100,000
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- 3
- B/P Bonus:
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- Whistle:
- Normal
- Medals:
- 357
Comments
Shameless self insert.
What.
Engage a command, and write the result. Simple.
Like if there are the choices
> Die.
> Aggress.
> SEPULCHRITUDE.
Choose a thing. Write its result.
Then make more as a result.
Simple.
>check stats
>look blankly into an open space
>check stats again
>run off into tunnel
now where the hell did that tunnel came from?
>check stats
you are now developing OCD
>you tripped
you seem to have stumbled upon a double barrel shot gun
>pick up weapon
and you did in an L4D way (i dunno, i just felt like saying it)
>get surprised
a mysterious foul creature appeared before you in the darkness
>you noticed it was dark
>shoot and kill the creature
>check stats
>examine creature
it was peter griffin
>check stats
>resume journey
is that okay?
Hmm, I'm afraid that this part of the journey has been decided.
Check the latest comment or my most recent response, read what happened prior, and continue from there.
> Understand ZI's complicated explanation.
> No, fuck this, she's an arrogant bitch. I'll continue MY fucking story.
> Abscond to my post.
> Drunkenly swing it around like you're in an AIRPLANE [REMEMBER THAT DISCUSSION].
You do remember that discussion.
Considering the COPS are all lined up in an orderly fashion, you drunkenly swing your AXE. Your INEBRIATION causes you to lose yourself in the process, however, you notice the aftermath left every COP as a pool of blood and guts. You are unharmed as well.
> Proceed to overkill the corpses.
> Realize what you have done and escape through a WINDOW.
> Drink more.
> Proceed to overkill the corpses.
http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/sh ow/626367/blood-crazy-creepy-evil -hellshock-kazami_yuuka-lau
Things are looking like this.
> CANNIBALIZE meat in an attempt to absorb abilities.
> Move on. How 'bout that nerdy role-player? Let's pay him a violent visit.
> Investigate windows.
> CANNIBALIZE meat in an attempt to absorb abilities.
Things are looking like this. <a href="http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/6121/62174af01375911d9d91240.jpg">http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/61 21/62174af01375911d9d91240.jpg</a>
You are not sure if you gained any abilities from that process. The only way to truly find out is to pay the nerdy role-player a violent visit. However, you could stop killing innocents and enter the REALM to fight figments of your IMAGINATION.
> Visit the nerdy role-player.
> Enter the REALM through a WINDOW.
> Drink so much you'll never be sober again.
> Enter the REALM through a WINDOW.
Bored with killing and eating the existing, you choose to go beat the shit out of your imaginary foes.
Entering the NOIR-ESQUE CAFE's window in the back, you find yourself in the REALM.
You notice a young girl in an ARMANI SUIT and FEDORA with a sign reading "Party Members Wanted". She has a large, heavy-looking MECHA standing next to her, along with a MAID.
She's obviously been waiting for some time.
> Disregard the MAID and MECHA, get over there and RAPE HER.
> Wield NEWSPAPER and go crazy.
> Be civil and walk over there and ask about it.
> Wield NEWSPAPER and go crazy.
Despite your possible chance at fulfilling your sick fantasies, you choose to simply AGGRESS the party. Your IMAGINATION causes you to think that things are looking like this. <a href="http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/2849/b75bc152b8a7f20b99b5f44.jpg">http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/28 49/b75bc152b8a7f20b99b5f44.jpg</a>
You are unsure if this is true, partially true or completely false due to the euphoric effects of ALCOHOL.
> Disregard possibilities, AGGRESS now.
> You still have a chance. Dive on either the GIRL or the MAID and RAPE.
> Disregard battle, be civil and inquire about their cause. You may get the chance for bloodshed there.
> You still have a chance. Dive on either the GIRL or the MAID and RAPE.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/sh ow/584339/blush-censored-flat_che st-houjuu_nue-open_mouth-pe
Is what your desired result should look like.
However, your immense level of DRUNKENNESS has rendered your Hunter-esque leap into a trip over your own shoes.
You fall flat on the ground.
The GIRL comes over, still holding the sign. She looks worried.
You are now the GIRL/ZERO/ALICE/FIORENZE.
> Kick the fucker, he just tried to rape you.
> Get him back up on his feet like a normal person would.
> Leave him, he's weird.
> Get him back up on his feet like a normal person would.
Despite the fact that this guy almost tried to RAPE you, you are desperate for PARTY MEMBERS. Besides, he has a NEWSPAPER and seems able to fight.
> No, fuck PARTY MEMBERS, kill this bastard.
> Hold the SIGN out in front of you as protection and speak to him.
> Ask for it.
> Hold the SIGN out in front of you as protection and speak to him.
Due to your paranoia with this man, you opt to cautiously talk to him behind the safety of your sign.
You kindly, yet nervously ask him to join your party.
You put on a worried smiling face.
You are now SEAN.
> Hit her with the NEWSPAPER.
> Accept her offer.
> CUNT PUNT her and RUN LIKE HELL.
> Accept her offer.
You notice the HEAVY COMBAT DRONE is eying you. Rather than trying to ATTACK or RUN, you join their PARTY.
> Whoa, wait a moment, you don't even know what they're doing.
> Fuck that HEAVY COMBAT DRONE up for looking at you.
> Feel what material the MAID is composed of.
> Feel what material the MAID is composed of.
Disregarding the HEAVY COMBAT DRONE, you step over to the MAID.
Your INEBRIATION deplores you to examine her without her permission.
You find your hand on her breast.
Hm, silicone. But it's still warm. Odd.
You realize that, upon close inspection, her eyes are glowing with a light that seems almost unreal.
You take your violating hand off of her breast and knock on her head. A metallic noise resounds.
Oh damn. She's an android.
Realizing she's been wearing an embarassed, startled, and puzzled face this whole time, you step out of her personal bubble.
Also, the GIRL has been staring at you exasperatedly.
> Claim it's because of your religion.
> Do it again, only moreso.
> Question what her current venture is.
> Do it again, only moreso.
You disregard the GIRL again and kneel down to investigate the lower portion of the MAID. You notice it/she is wearing white panties. You must remove them to get a closer look.
The interior seems to be made of a medical-grade polymer and synthetic liquid. Whoever created this went for realism.
You are now the GIRL/ZERO/ALICE/FIORENZE.
> Take the initiative to inform the MAN about your venture.
> Hit the MAN with the sign.
> Fuck this, command your HEAVY COMBAT DRONE to pump this guy full of lead.
> Hit the MAN with the sign.
Figuring you've had enough of his sick-fuckery, you hit him hard in the face with your sign.
You redress OPHELIA and comfort her after her technical rape.
You walk over to the MAN and start a conversation.
Z: Aight, who the fuck are you, and what's your obsession with my COMBAT MAID?
M: [silence]
Z: OI. I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU DRUNK FU-
You realize the MAN has been knocked out by your SIGN ATTACK. According to MODEL 152, you've hit him hard enough to induce AMNESIA.
> Well, shit. Leave.
> Have MODEL 152 drag his poor ass out of here as you find somewhere to make a base camp.
> Have MODEL 152 blow the fucker to bits.
> BONUS: Kick him a couple times, and then go with Option 1 or Option 2.
> BONUS: Kick him a couple times, and then go with Option 1 or Option 2.
> Have MODEL 152 drag his poor ass out of here as you find somewhere to make a base camp.
You kick him forcefully as revenge for the technical rape on OPHELIA. You order your COMBAT DRONE to wrap its tactile members around the MAN's foot. It begins to drag his unconscious body mercilessly as it follows you.
You search the area for a proper base camp. You come across three possible locations.
> An open range with a concrete gate, surrounded by electrocuted steel fences topped with barbed wire.
> A simple apartment building with 16 floors. You could block the elevator and barricade the stairs for a roof base.
> A lone warehouse near a seaport.
> A simple apartment building with 16 floors. You could block the elevator and barricade the stairs for a roof base.
You opt for the APARTMENTS, since an open range heavily guarded by fences doesn't exactly allow for easy entrance, and a warehouse is just too crude and dirty for you to manage.
You head up to the rooftop up the stairs.
There is a calming zephyr as you examine the rooftop. However, since you don't want all your IMPORTANT SHIT falling off, you go with the 16TH FLOOR.
You imagine a keypad lock for the door, so you can get back down and up again.
You get started thinking of a plethora of ideas:
- Bulletproof EVERYTHING.
- Ladder for rooftop access.
- Internet Router.
- Medical Cabinet.
- Developer Console.
- Save Station.
- Hyperspace Armory.
- Mini-Bar. Costs SPONDULICKS, though.
- Beds. For bedding.
- Improbability Drive to allow for as much space as illegally possible against the laws of physics.
- Portable Generator. Which runs on perpetual motion.
- Warp Point.
Pleased with your current base condition, you imagine the design schematic to be pristine and lovely, yet cold and disturbing.
The room turns into something out of Portal.
> Ask SEAN for any other input.
> Giddily jump up and down in celebration.
> Disregard everyone and sit on the rooftop while switching player control to SEAN.
> Ask SEAN for any other input.
It appears as though he is still unconscious. MODEL 152 is still gripping him by the foot. You assume that MODEL 152 has dragged him across the floor for the entirety of your search. Unless you intervene, he could be unconscious for an interminable duration.
> Pour cold water on his head to revive him.
> Allow MODEL 152 to continue dragging him fucking everywhere.
> Order OPHELIA to get "revenge" for the previous offense.
> Order OPHELIA to get "revenge" for the previous offense.
Though she does have combat capability, you are not properly registered as her Master, and therefore cannot accept direct commands from you.
Also, she doesn't want to.
Damn sentient, emotional androids.
> Save game.
> Reset game.
> Pause game.
> Pause game.
You pause the game and discover a menu. There are many ways to alter your current gaming from here, both for better and for worse.
> Open Options
> Change game mode to "Zombie Survival"
> Reload checkpoint
>Open Options.
A large, confusing, and verbose list of various commands opens, all of which will modify the gaming experience.
> Adjust brightness setting to add to the noir drama.
> Set difficulty to Lunatic.
> bind h "npc_create_equipment weapon_shotgun;wait;npc_create npc_combine_s"
Is it fedora friday already? text based misadventures. FISTICUFFS!!!!
Aww, fuck. I don't know where my fedora is.
what's fisticuffs?
Y'know. FISTICUFFS.
>check stats
>check stats again (DAMNIT)
>explore
you walk around a bit, looking for some zombie action (not in the sexual way. but if anyone wants to.. *wink*)
>cringe at the thought of that last one
shudder
>check stats
>pause game
>bathroom
too much OJ..
that reminds me.. be right back
Mmhmm.
I'll leave you alone for a second to contemplate you situation.
OH SHIT I FORGOT PORTAL HAS THE HL2 ENGINE
I'll be on hiatus fucking around there too.
Have more fun~!
I just got back from a five day trip to Jamaica.
It sucked as all hell.
I'll be on more now that school is over and I'm not going anywhere.
So, yeah.
D'aww. How does an out of COUNTRY (fucking iPod, spelling countey) experience suck?
I love travel.
^
But traveling to popular fucking places like Jamaica aren't so great. I go to fancy places like Austria and the Czech Republic.
ALSO THAT LIST IS DEFINITELY NOT RANKED, I MEAN FUCK LOOK AT IT. And you would say onii-chan you double loli.
France, Germany, or Russia are the three countries I'd like to visit.
And yeah, I did say onii-chan~
Haven't been to France or Russia, but Germany's nice. The people there are obsessive over American accents, they fucking love it for some reason.
Oh you with your fancy Jap speak that I understand. Also, DID I SEE SOMETHING ABOUT PERSONA 3? Shit originally felt like a generic "schoolkids with some greater power do shit and save the world with a cyborg" game but the gameplay was actually good so it made up for its overused JRPG crap. Allow me to advise you not to play Persona 4, because it does not meet the same level of quality as its predecessor. Unless you want to simulate a schoolkid's life rather than play a game.
I'm left wondering if Russians are as fucking crazy as they're usually depicted.
I only got to play through about a quarter of the game, and I had to stop because we had to leave [location to remain undisclosed].
After putting later research, I went through the rest of the story pretty much on Youtube and was pretty impacted by the end. I mean, great ending for a JRPG.
P4 didn't sound as good, and I don't even have a PS2 (though I wish I did for the sake of being able to play Persona 3, Silent Hill 2, and Ace Combat Zero).
Also, Protagonist is the first cool emo-looking guy I've ever seen. And I'd love to have a combat android like Aigis. Fucking machinegun-fingers are pro as hell.
Rabid-Monkey101
Im back and not dead... *Gets shot*
ZeroInsanity
Yes. Exactly.