i'd be the most badass cook on the ship
oh yeah
i'll even bring a ferret with me
that would totally go with my mums apron
Local crossdresser gets horny, screams at the void
Zi
@ZeroInsanity
Age 29, Female
Slut
The Flat-Chested Girls Academy
Line Ark
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STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
It has to be a space ferret, or I'm shoving it in the airlock.
And your mum's apron had better have either Yukkuris or Flandre Scarlet's face on it or it goes out the airlock too, along with that damn ferret, space variant or not.
We need to test Midnight to see how well she can be a lolita whore to everyone and then say, "No messages for you Commander" and make me sad.
The rest sounds fine, so I'll add it to the list in my mind until we fill it out 3/4. Then I will post it again.
FUCK QUITTING SOMETHING YOU CARE ABOUT FOR LENT. I quit cookies.
Also, space hamst- ferret goes in my quarters if xellon acts like a fag or cooks a bad meal. Don't waste it on the airlock.
I wanna waste something in the airlocks.
Oh, we should hire a bunch of batarian guys. That'll do well. Or retarded vorcha.
DID I HEAR WE'RE GETTING AN AI SYSTEM?
Okay we need to outfit it. I don't want it telling me what the fuck happens all around the ship. I want it to DO STUFF.
It's ZeroThirteen. She's been managing my base as its AI for a while.
I got super bored and /v/ on 4chan is in ruins so I went on Walfas. In the corner of my eye I saw, "Recent comments" and ZI.
This comment has no importance.
That was me. I can make terrorists on create.swf now, thanks to the new update.
[grabs a fishbowl and ducktape]
tah dah
one space ferret ready for action
:D
oh and i also have a spongebob tshirt
and i'm wearing one right now.
and i haven't showered yet
so i guess i look like a real space cook
also
the AI should have access to the local internet and shit
sometimes it doesn't do that you know
Awesome. I'll have a Yukkuri apron custom made for you, and you're ready.
OH
and a force field generator
:D
and nuke powered cannons mounted on each side of the ship
FUCK YEAHHHHH
^
I'm okay with the force field and nuke-weapons.
Agreed.
And what have I been missing out in my absence?
Hello, New Mordin.
Ask Albino, he'll debrief you.
We'll hire Vorcha by giving them a box of spoons labeled, "Weapons of Ass-Kicking." We'll promise Batarians that we'll kill ourselves if they help us.
THAT'S OUR FRONT LINES.
So what does the AI System do?
We hire Hanar/Krogan commanding officers. Hanar shall has Particle Lazors.
Zero13 Is pretty much EDI, except
a. Commands an improbability drive
b. Less annoying
c. Only contacts in text
d. Has a humanoid form (Cortana-esque, except red and awesomer/loli)
e. Has full freedom
f. Has a personality
Full Freedom...hmm.
I think we need 13 to listen to me at all costs...because she's a loli...
And there's a hub for her in every room. Including mine.
YOU GET IT NOW? BUT DAMN AI CAN'T BE FELT PHYSICALLY BAWWWWWW
Also, Hanar need to be our ninjas. They climb through vents and then tentacle rape people silently by filling their orifices with jelly.
51430, you get a Tech Lab. You can work on whatever projects you want and fill out a requisition form. WANT A COMMODORE? BITCH, WE'LL GET YOU ONE. Oh and you better start developing your singing voice.
We'll have 51430 in his Tech Lab figure something out.
if there's gonna be a tech lab
and a kitchen
then we should have robotic butlers aboard the ship
programmed not to suddenly turn evil and to serve the people inside the ship
and have brittish accents
THEN
the lab guys can just customize them with weapons and shits like that
I'll think about it.
and the ship should have a huge gaping hole and the back
for the aliens to come through
you know, for killing purposes..
or not
No. No goatse holes.
I shall have shoulder and helmet mounted LASERSSSSS
Also, some piano wire and many silenced weapons.
And I'll have ice element control augmented through a glove.
Last but not least, an awesome face visit for my helmet.
I WOULD KICK ASS.
But you're a pilot.
YOU STAY IN YOUR PENISHOLE
(hahaha see wat i did thar cockpit)
^ Not visit, visor. Or however the fuck you spell it. Damn iPod.
iPods can be srs faggots sometimes.
AHH
i almost forgot
uniforms?
Loldunno. I'll figure something out.
internets are retarded.
NO. I have fail.
Wat
Rule 1 of the Lab.
No experiments on organisms that can do calculus.
Ok. But if they're annoying, AIRLOCK'D.
SuparEFG, I get the piano wire and silencers. I am a spah.
SPAH SAPPIN MAH SPACESHIP
GENTLEMEN
Ok. Then replace that with moar lasers.
We'll give you like a shoop gun or somethin.
SuparEFG
TIEM FOR ZERG RUSHHHH
ZeroInsanity
OMG NEEDS MOAR PYLONS