DAHAHAHA!
Finally uploaded something. Criticism requested, please.
And expect MORE. Finally fixed my scanner, so YEAHHH.

HOLY SHIT. ALREADY JULY FUCKIN' 4TH.
Damn, I'm surprised I'm still here.
UN-FUCKING-RANKED Friend List:
Igott (more like acquainted contemporaries)
Midnight (to a certain extent)
Xellon (fellow fuckwit)
Wartooth (son, I don't even know)
Rabid (just someone to relate to [also to a certain extent])
Albino (the oniichan to my loli )(HA FUCKER YOU'RE LIKE FUCKIN' 11TH OR SOME SHIT.)
Japsuki (FUCKIN' PRO LEET)
SEFG (I want my story and that art, son)
Fourinone (you lazy shit, get back on)
Eightball (still feel guilty for pretty much disregarding you)
51430 (find that Commodore 64)
Sanchez (thanks for the assistance)

I dunno. Felt like it since it's really been this long and I haven't died.
Expect new art sometime. Got a picture of Persona 3's Aegis/Aigis I sketched, and I think it's the best thing I've done since the Yukari thing.
Also, expect shutdown of dA account. Not worth it. Made it before I realized that the level of constructive criticism is identical to here on NG. And since I'm scouted AGAIN, there's little to no point in maintaining it.
MSPA will continue after I'm done
a.) Stalling.
b.) Fucking around on PORTAL. I mean hell, it's fun.
c.) FINALLY UPLOADING SOMETHING.

MMKAY BITCHES. I'm on hiatus for a sec.
GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN FUCK AROUND ON NG
INSTEAD, DevConsole on Portal is much more fun.
For example:
sv_cheats 1
sk_plr_num_shotgun_pellets 1000
sk_plr_dmg_buckshot 1000
bind n "npc_create npc_breen"
SPAM N AND FIRE AWAY.

2ND ARCHIVE CLEAR EXECUTED.

MS Paint Adventures Parody.
Will be updated whenever I can with the new pathway.
Comments will be deleted after the path has been cemented by selection.
Majority vote will select the next development.

THE STORY SO FAR:
> Conclude Problem Sleuth.
22 chapters of pure, original content. You now realize you'll never see something like this again.

> Read Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.
After reading Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff immediately after concluding Problem Sleuth's adventure, you feel disappointed with the obvious lack of quality and overuse of blatantly imbecilic jokes.
You throw your hat down in disgust.

> Point out the obvious.
You now realize you do not have a fancy hat to throw on the ground in disgust. You utter profanities.

> Realize you're wearing a FEDORA.
You wonder what made you think that. You obviously wear a FEDORA. You contemplate why is it that you lack a KEY or CANDY CORN.

> COMBAT OPERANDI: Lv. 99 SEPULCHRITIDE
Whoa, hey now. What do you think you're doing?

> Tip FEDORA like a badass Detective.
You tip your FEDORA like in a noir movie. You seem to have forgotten what you were disgusted at during the process of tipping. You walk over to your desk and discover a KEY with one bullet in it, however, your prized loot still appears to be missing.

> Disregarding your missing candy, you craft a fort out of a chair, cinderblocks, and paneling. http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/435 8/ps198.gif
Whilst within your fort, your keen IMAGINATION stat beckons you to create a post about this venture.
Also, your PULCHRITUDE immediately convinces ANYONE you should and that it's a great idea.
But you yourself ponders whether it's a good idea.
> Make that post, damn it.
> No, fuck it. That's retarded.
> Disregard medium-low Vim stat and throw broken computer tower.

> Make that post, damn it
You drink your CANDY CORN LIQUOR and use your fort as an entrance to the REALM OF IMAGINATION. You find yourself falling off a building and dressed as a HYSTERICAL DAME. Upon landing, your CLEMENCY OWL meter slightly fills. There are many frivolous activities in which to partake in, however, you cannot decide on what.
> Jump in front of an incoming truck to completely fill up the PARLIAMENT UPROAR meter.
> This place is fucking retarded, leave.
> Hunt down the legendary beast FLUTHLU.

> This place is fucking retarded, leave.
Realizing what a huge imbecilic clusterfuck this place is, you opt to leave before your brain cell gets lonely.
You realize you are nowhere near a computer. However, there are three buildings in front of you, each holding some form of INTERNET.
> Enter the NOIR-ESQUE CAFE which has a sign in the front saying "Free Wi-Fi".
> Enter the INTERNET CAFE, which obviously holds your INTERNET.
> Disregard your need to make your damn post and get some CANDY CORN from adjacent CANDY STORE.

> Enter the NOIR-ESQUE CAFE which has a sign in the front saying "Free Wi-Fi".
Feeling that you look the part with your fancy HAT, you enter the NOIR-ESQUE CAFE. You come to the shocking realization that you do not have a COMPUTER to access the Wi-Fi with, however, there are many patrons with COMPUTERS.
> Use PULCHRITUDE to convince one of the patrons to hand over a COMPUTER.
> Pull out your KEY with one BULLET inside of it and use Ace Dick-styled "diplomacy" to access your desired INTERNET.
> Rob a nearby patron of their delicious CANDY CORN, disregarding your need to make the damn post.

> Use PULCHRITUDE to convince one of the patrons to hand over a COMPUTER.
The man refuses. He demands you leave him alone, obviously due to his larger PULCHRITUDE STAT BAR. You question who this man is. He says his name is SEAN.
> Try to abuse your PULCHRITUDE again.
> Hold on, you don't even know your identity yet.
> Aggress.

> Hold on, you don't even know your identity yet.
Huh. That's true. Your current appearance is a FORMLESS BLOB in a HYSTERICAL DAME outfit. You choose to make your own identity right now.
> Make yourself ZERO/ALICE/FIORENZE for the sake of a blatant self-insert into your own story.
> Fuck this for now, AGGRESS.
> No, no, no. CANDY CORN takes the higher priority.

> Make yourself ZERO/ALICE/FIORENZE for the sake of a blatant self-insert into your own story.
Now that your identity is set, you remember your objective. Rather than wasting your time with PULCHRITUDE, you decide to bring up a new set of options.
> AGGRESS NOW.
> Forget this, go on a quest for CANDY CORN.
> Disregard your medium-low VIM stat and pick up a deadly HAIRPIN to blast your way to your desired INTERNETS.

> AGGRESS NOW.
Oh, dear. You realize that you lack any SELF-CONFIDENCE. The decisions you make almost seem determined by an UNKNOWN ENTITY.
But, due to your appreciation of numbers divisible by three, you come up with three ideas.
> COMBAT OPERANDI: Lv. 1 KILLER CAPRICCIO
> Realize the obvious: Said post has been made and you have no need to AGGRESS.
> The fuck are you DOING? Get some CANDY CORN and fuck this.

> The fuck are you DOING? Get some CANDY CORN and fuck this.
Deciding not to take a meaningless chance, you walk out of the CAFE and enter the adjacent CANDY STORE. Upon entering, you notice several bags of delicious CANDY CORN. However, the cashier appears to be a CANDY CORN VAMPIRE.
> Aggress.
> Casually buy a bag of CANDY CORN.
> This entire plane of existence is fucking retarded, delete it.

> Casually buy a bag of CANDY CORN.
OH SHIT. You have no SPONDULICKS to spend and acquire said CANDY CORN.
> Cry and hope for pity.
> Use an "alternate form of payment".
> Aggress.

> Aggress.
Rather than humiliate yourself and/or be violated by the CANDY CORN VAMPIRE, you choose to AGGRESS. However, you do not seem to have a WEAPON to AGGRESS with. There are a variety of objects with which you can make use of.
> Equip a BANDOLIER OF GRENADES
> Conjure up a SCYTHE
> Pull out your RING OF KEYS

> Pull out your RING OF KEYS.
Wait a fuckin' minute. You have a KEY, but no RING OF KEYS. Your CONJURING SKILL is too low to summon any such weapons, since all your stats are low due to your new game.
Since you have opened your COMBAT MENU and engaged the CANDY CORN VAMPIRE in combat, you have no option but to AGGRESS.
> Fire your KEY at point blank range.
> Check stats.
> Allow him to attack first and AUTO-PARRY.

> Check stats.
The logical choice here would be to check the CANDY CORN VAMPIRE'S stats. It appears to have a very high speed stat coupled with moderate defense and strength stats. Your KEY may not stand a chance against this undead creature.
> Who cares? Fire your KEY at point-blank range.
> ABSCOND and return when you have acquired some SPONDULICKS
> Attempt to MOLLIFY your foe

> Attempt to MOLLIFY your foe.
Your high PULCHRITUDE suddenly changes to its actual definition.
The command goes the wrong way.
The fact that you're dressed as a sultry HYSTERICAL DAME does not assist the situation.
> Go with this 'unfortunate' turn of events.
> Seduce him closer, and let him feel the hot lead that is CANDY CORN- er, lead [TRYING TO GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES, NOW ARE WE] right in the face.
> Fuck this, back to the CAFE.

> Seduce him closer, and let him feel the hot lead that is CANDY CORN right in the face.
[I have no clue how to do this, please excuse me and take over this role.
Oh my god what the fuck have we done.]

[FFFFF.
Meant lead. Was thinking Candy Corn Revolver, as seen in edit. ]
You grab him by the collar, then begin to seductively speak as you pull your REVOLVER.
"Ooh, heh, I don't know how this works~ It's my first time~", You say as sultrily as possible.
The VAMPIRE is totally distracted by this opportunity that he may finally get some action, though being undead.
You pull the gun up fast and press it to his forehead and wittily state "BITCH, GET OWNED." in the most gangster accent you can muster (which is pretty good). You pull the trigger.
Blood sprays everywhere as chunks of blood, brain, and skull spatter on the wall in a randomized fashion similar to a bug on a windshield.
Oh shit. Apparently the VAMPIRE was just a MAN dressed up as a CANDY CORN VAMPIRE by using the CANDY CORN as fangs.
> Step back and marvel your homicide anyway.
> OH, HELL. This has gone south. Back to the NOIR-ESQUE CAFE.
> Hey, wait. Level Up first.

> Step back and marvel your homicide anyway.
Ignoring your possible Level Up, you observe the blood splattered across the walls and floor. You notice one CANDY CORN FANG twirling in a magnificent pool of blood, originating from a strip of completely red, crinkled flesh. You presume this piece of flesh was below the BULLET exit point, where various strips of flesh and bone were blasted around the room. You also marvel at the location of the other CANDY CORN FANG, which appears to be plastered to the wall with brain and skull fragments.
You notice that you have gotten an experience bonus due to your sick fuck observations. You can now Level Up further.
> Put points in VIM
> Put points in PULCHRITUDE
> Learn a new COMBAT OPERANDI

> Learn a new COMBAT OPERANDI.
Realizing that VIM is not your strong point, and your PULCHRITUDE was more than enough to arouse an undead entity who was not undead but dressed up as an undead entity, you opt to learn more combat maneuvers.
After putting your points in, you learn Lv. 5 LOVING EMBRACE. Which, by the way, is essentially what you just did to that poor man.
By the way, within the time period that you were marvelling your achievement and leveling up, the COPS have arrived. They're saying for you to drop your REVOLVER.
> Comply with them by laying your REVOLVER down.
> Attempt to ninja your way out.
> Jump behind the counter and try to use the dead man as a meat puppet, using a blatantly fake voice to say 'i'm alive and well you guys can go'.

> Attempt to ninja your way out.
You grab a bag of CANDY CORN and swiftly dive out of the nearest WINDOW to make your escape. However, this WINDOW was plugged in. You find yourself back in the REALM OF IMAGINATION.
> Explore the huge imbecilic clusterfuck that is the REALM.
> Exit back into the CANDY SHOP and take your chances with the COPS.
> Become a CANDY CORN VAMPIRE and use ARMISTYX.

> Explore the huge imbecilic clusterfuck that is the REALM.
Now that you realize, it's not such a bad place. This is your imagination, so you conjure a RING OF KEYS with unlimited ammo. You're hoping that your imagination is strong enough to maintain its form IRL against the COPS. But there are other options.
> Conjure INTERNET and LAPTOP.
> Fuck the police, pump 'em full of lead.
> Wait, make some defensive measures first.

> Wait, make some defensive measures first.
Noticing that today has been an awfully violent day and may gradually get worse, you decide to improvise some armor. You turn a streetlight into an IRON CORSET. You enchant it to bestow a +10 PULCHRITUDE boost.
> Exit the REALM through the window and fuck the police.
> Eat so much CANDY CORN that you enter a diabetic coma.
> Explore the REALM some more.

> Explore the REALM some more.
A single IRON CORSET will do no good for the rest of your body!
You opt to find more weapons and gear to assist your mass massacre of the police. Perhaps some PARTY MEMBERS will help.
Suddenly, you realize there are two windows adjacent to the CANDY STORE WINDOW.
> Naah, let's keep looking around.
> Enter the MIDDLE WINDOW.
> Enter the RIGHT WINDOW.

> Enter the MIDDLE WINDOW.
You find yourself in the BASEMENT of what appears to be a BLACKSMITH. What luck. You equip a FULL PLATE ARMOR set above your IRON CORSET. You are surprised at your ability to carry items from the REALM to the REAL WORLD. Your SELF-ESTEEM bar has raised.
You lurch upstairs and find that it is just the home of a nerdy role-player. Regardless, the ARMOR is very real. You open the front door and notice the COPS have their back to you.
> Make a run for it.
> Enact vengeance.
> Re-enter the REALM and imagine some PARTY MEMBERS and WEAPONS to aid you.

> Re-enter the REALM and imagine some PARTY MEMBERS and WEAPONS to aid you.
This isn't something you can do alone. Though you cannot spell slaughter without laughter, there is no I in Team.
At least, that's the bullshit you tell yourself to keep you from running out there yourself.
Realizing the FULL PLATE ARMOR is kinda bulky and you can't move very well in it, you attempt to imagine a better alternative to the heavy armor.
You come up with a BULLETPROOF ARMANI SUIT. Style and functionality is vital to your survival.
Now, you yourself are ready for combat in terms of WEAPONRY, due to your CHICAGO TYPEWRITER. But you are short on PARTY MEMBERS.
Realizing that existing characters are retarded, you come up with your own.
Model 074 [Affectionately named OPHELIA]:
Class: Sentient Combat Maid Automoton
Pulchritude: 17
Imagination: 23
Vim: 38
MODEL 152 [Affectionately named MODEL 152]
Class: Heavy Combat Drone
Pulchritude: 4
Imagination: 0
Vim: 5280.4
Your obsession with automated beings beckons you to allow for some organic PARTY MEMBERS.
But you are too impatient.

Returning to the NOIR-ESQUE CAFE, you are now SEAN about 2 minutes after the CANDY CORN VAMPIRE is shot.
> Flip the fuck out.
> Retrieve arms from under table.
> Let the actual SEAN think of how he wants himself to react in this situation.

> Retrieve arms from under table.
You pull your arms up from under the table. They appear to be holding a BATTLEAXE. The sound of police sirens and a gunshot makes you flip the fuck out.
> Jump out of the WINDOW.
> Use the front DOOR like an ordinary person and then initiate a BLOOD RAGE.
> Disregard the COPS and get some CANDY CORN LIQUOR from the CANDY STORE.

> Use the front DOOR like an ordinary person and then initiate a BLOOD RAGE.
You initiate your homicidal COMBAT OPERANDI.
Taking the last very large swig out of your [ahem that Canteen-ish thing which I can't recall it's name at the moment heheheheh...] and casually bring the NEWSPAPER over your shoulder.
You say something awesome, but it's too slurred due to your immense INEBRIATION.
Anyhoo.
> Giant-ass swing that kills everyone in a single stroke.
> Drunkenly swing it around like you're in an AIRPLANE [REMEMBER THAT DISCUSSION].
> Throw it at one guy and utilize FISTICUFFS.